Violinist

I started violin when I was 8 years old. It was a matter of chance that my school was selected to be part of the Penang State Government program called Muzik Ke Desa (literally: Music to the Villages). The core of the program was to provide violin group lessons to selected schools on Penang Island. The fees were subsidised; the monthly fee was only RM10. Initially, even the violins were provided. Many of my schoolmates took up the instruments, but each week, fewer and fewer people turned up for lessons until I was the only one left. It was during this time that I met my first violin teacher, Mr Woon Wen Kin, who happened to be the music director of the Penang Symphony Orchestra. Upon seeing my musical development in the program, he convinced my mom to send me for private lessons with him.

It was the exposure to orchestral music that really got me into learning the violin. Mr Woon played a crucial role in my early introduction to the orchestra. I participated in my first national string camp when I was 9. At the time, I could hardly read any music notation, and I was sitting in the last row of the third violin section. As a young boy, I found it fascinating to meet like-minded people from all over Malaysia. That motivated me to play the violin even more. In my violin learning journey, I did the usual graded exams, but it was the orchestra playing that made me push my limits. I played in the Penang Junior Orchestra when I was 11, then the Penang Symphony Orchestra for several years after that. With Mr Woon's guidance, both in private lessons and orchestra, I gained countless musical exposure and experience, which included concert tours to the Chinese cities of Beijing, Guangzhou, and Xiamen. Not bad for a 16-year-old.

I was privileged to be selected for the Malaysian Philharmonic Youth Orchestra (MPYO) when it was founded in 2006, and I performed with them for five years. Upon finishing high school, I decided to pursue a music degree at Universiti Teknologi Mara (UiTM), specialising in violin performance. There I met Dato’ Mustafa Fuzer Nawi, who was then the music director of Orkestra Simfoni Kebangsaan (Malaysian National Symphony Orchestra). Besides being a passionate teacher, he involved me in several of his orchestra concerts, which allowed me to be noticed in the Kuala Lumpur music scene. Soon, I was sought-after for many orchestra projects and events during my university years. Eventually, I graduated from UiTM in 2010, obtaining the Vice Chancellor’s Award along with being named Best Student for the Music Degree Program.

In all honesty, the Kuala Lumpur music scene was small back then, and there were not many professional orchestra violinists. So it was unsurprising that I received many gigs for music events that involved an orchestra. I have worked with many top Malaysian entertainers, among them Siti Nurhaliza, Anuar Zain, Dayang Nurfaizah, Jaclyn Victor, Search, and Wings. I have also performed with international artists such as Richard Clayderman and Maher Zain. From 2010 to 2015, I was a regular violinist for Orkestra Radio Televisyen Malaysia (Malaysian Radio and Television Orchestra), Orkestra Simfoni Kebangsaan and Orkestra Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (National University of Malaysia Orchestra). As an orchestra violinist, I have performed all around Malaysia as well as in Singapore.

Learning never stopped after graduation. I continued to take violin lessons as I believed that there was still a lot of room for improvement. Despite my rather successful “career”, I never felt that my violin playing was at its highest level. I was very fortunate to have met and learned under Mr Evgeny Kaplan, who was a violinist at the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. I'd never heard anyone who played like him; his playing left a big impression on me. His attention to detail was such that he would not allow notes to pass if they failed to become music. He taught me to be super attentive and demanding with my own playing and made me bring out as much as the music required. Learning under him made me realise that violin playing is not just about being “good enough” to have a music career. An artist must give everything.

Around this time, I was becoming more aware of my physical condition, and the years of violin playing had taken their toll in one way or another. My body was in constant pain, particularly when I started to learn the more demanding pieces. In many sessions with Mr Kaplan, we spent most of the time on rehabilitation rather than playing. Sometimes it was too painful to even play one bar of music. I contemplated for a long time whether I could keep doing this for many more years, especially professionally. I didn’t want my violin playing to just be good enough for Malaysian standards. I wanted to be a world-class violinist, perhaps performing globally. However, the requirements to be a world-class orchestra violinist are no joke; the audition is not just a job interview but a lottery. You have to be exceptional to be noticed, or be lucky.

The audition preparation for a reputable orchestra is gruelling. Anything below perfection will not be accepted, as the audition committee's sole job is to find reasons to exclude you. When livelihood is involved, musicians are not accommodating. I considered whether this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life since I was always looking for flaws in my playing. Adding to that, my body was in chronic pain. I also didn't like the working environment in the Malaysian music scene, yet I wasn't good enough to get an international orchestra job. For sure, I didn't feel happy with what I was doing, and this took away the joy from my violin playing. I felt that this wasn't what I signed up for. Ultimately, I decided that playing violin in an orchestra was not for me anymore.

On a different note, I have other musical talents that I thought had more potential to grow. Alas, many people hardly noticed or ignored them, except Rini, who has been a great supporter and friend since the first day I met her. Before long, we got married in 2016.

I still play the violin today, but mostly at home and during the lessons that I teach. Today I am hardly on stage as a violinist, a completely different picture from my early 20s. Occasionally, I still receive calls for violin and orchestra gigs (as I mentioned, it is a small industry). A few of my colleagues have asked me whether I wish to return to a full-time orchestra job. “Perhaps not,” I told them. Currently, I have a small number of private violin students, but most of them are not pursuing a career in music. In my approach to teaching, the joy of making music is more important than perfection or ambition.

Some time in the final quarter of 2023, I was told about Buskers Pod, a place where musicians can perform at selected venues across Kuala Lumpur. Since Rini started learning the violin rather late, I realised that she did not have as much violin performance experience as I did. I thought that this would be a good platform for her to gain mileage, and we were astonished by the reactions that we received from passersby. We usually perform on Thursday or Saturday nights at Publika.

If you like what I do and would like to engage me for your musical needs or enquiries, you can find my details in the contact section on the main page.

If you wish to support my art, donations are much appreciated. They put food on the table and keep the lights on. Above all, thank you for your generosity.

Posted on 2024-03-18.